The human brain is only built to see ~100 faces on average per day.
The average person in New York sees about ~400 faces per day.
This could be why everyone in this city feels like they need to protect themselves.
(My wife told me this stat, she’s not a statistician or a psychologist, but she’s my wife so I’m taking her word for it.)
And don’t feel like engaging with anyone else.
Every place I grew up, if you walked by someone on the street, you would say hello.
Just a nice “hi.”
Sometimes you may talk longer, but often not.
In this city, I am often in close proximity to people and never say a word to them.
I slide behind them, I walk directly next to them, or even approach them head on.
No words.
No one cares.
Now, it feels rude to say hello.
I used to think this was because everyone was “too busy,” but now, based off the excellent stats from my wife, it’s everyone protecting themselves.
—
I moved apartments a few weeks ago and my reliable coffee shop with good Internet is just slightly farther, and it feels farther especially on the now-hot days.
So now I’ve been trying out a different coffee shop to work in.
When I first arrived at this new place, I subconsciously sat further from a homeless-seeming person and then I remembered to love my neighbor as myself, or at least try to, so then I moved to a table closer, to one I had sat at last time I was at this coffeeshop, not directly next to this person, but closer all the same.
I don’t know if this person lives on the street or what, but they definitely give off that appearance.
Picking at scabs, somewhat of a stench, and torn clothing.
They sang along to every 90s song on the radio and told me their name was Andrea.
They left and re-appeared 20 minutes later. They presented in a different way with a different accent.
They also commented to me about wormholes near 18th and 8th Avenue and had I ever been to the such-and-such hotel? Bob Dylan stayed there, they said.
—
Recently I was at a park reading a book by myself and was about 10 blocks south of where my house is.
A person walked up to me and it was a person I recognized — it was another parent from my daughters’ school.
I didn’t expect to see them “this far south” but I said hello.
—
Keep going—
Josh Spilker
Thanks Josh you read an actual book in public? No wonder you're not mixing. People gonna treat you like the guy who talks to parking meters : )
I grew up in Manhattan and have spent time in major cities in Europe and across the US and have come to dread crowds, especially at airports. I was at first miserable when the pandemic hit but got used to being home and since we got an all clear haven't been further from my mid-Michigan town than an hour and half away by car.